Time Passing- Children Growing

Today I drove past a school where my second eldest competed in high school basketball games. The memory took me back to a time when my older children were younger- early and late teens. I muse with a tinge of sadness how quickly the time has passed.

I distinctly recall consoling myself when our oldest went to high school for the first day- I counted the years she had left until graduating and assured myself that the three years I still had with her was a long time. She is now graduated university and married. And the basketball player who I drove to that school far from home to play a basketball game-she too recently graduated from university and purchased her first home.

Where does this musing leave me in my thoughts? It reminds me that I am still a mother albeit an ‘older’ mom with toddlers, elementary, junior high, and high school children. It leaves me grateful and aware. I know the time is not forever; in fact it will pass rather quickly. I know our son who is in grade ten—the same as his oldest sister all those years ago— has a very short time left at home. So I try to savour the moments. I am harder on myself when I have moments of impatience or silly anger because I know the time with them will not last forever. Soon they will grow and leave home and start their lives independent from me their mother.

Why then did I rush the older ones to accomplish everything so quickly?

I frequently tell my oldest that she was my guinea pig-most mistakes I made I made with her. She is a beautiful, talented young woman-the same as her sister and brother-the three adult children. Yet I regret that I was in such a hurry for them to take their first steps- to say their first words –to print their first letter or to read their first word. These were milestones I was anxious for them to cross....but not so with the younger children now.

I am older and far more patient. I cuddle with them- I overlook the little mistakes –I apologize quicker when I lose my temper. I play with my little ones. I watch my little boy in his crib lift his arms high in the air- yes he could/should say “up”...but I know the word will come. For now I enjoy the arms in the air because all too soon he will be waving goodbye when he ventures off into the adult world.